Monday, November 18, 2013

Memory Monday: I Spotted A Problem

And it was an Appaloosa.

Don't get me wrong.  I think Appaloosas are adorable in an old grandpa type of way.  I love their crafty, thinking ways.

But this particular day in my life, there was a particular spotty problem in that leopard Appaloosa gelding.  I needed a comfortable horse to ride to go check the fences and gates on the pastures.  There is quite a bit of acreage and I was going out bareback with a pair of friends.  My friends had chosen a couple of my favorites: an Arab and an Arab cross, so I settled on the Appaloosa.  He had a smooth canter and gallop and had a wide, flat back which is much better than riding a shark finned, narrow horse.  If you've never had the luxury of riding a shark finned horse bareback, try it once.  You probably won't try it again without some extra padding.

So Appaloosa in hand, I mounted comfortably, clipping a walkie talkie to my belt.  We typically carried walkie talkies while out and about in the far recesses of pasture in case of emergency or trouble, we could radio up for help.  No big deal.

Or in this case, it did end up being a slight problem.

I comfortably galloped along with my friends and realized my horse was a little fat and slow compared to the Arabians.  It was OK though.  It was a beautiful May day and my spotty fellow was trying his hardest to catch up.  And then the problem.  My walkie talkie dislodged from my belt and started falling through the air (or possibly accelerating towards the Earth in a way that would make my physics professors proud).

The Appaloosa spotted this out of the corner of his left eye.  What then transpired was something like this.

I too, apparently needed a lesson in the laws of physics and the effects of gravity on my mass.  I remember thinking on how much that was going to hurt before hitting the ground and seeing his bedazzled hiney six feet away before I hit the dirt.  He took off towards the other forty acre pasture like my coworkers leaving work after a twelve hour shift. 

Too bad it was a nice warm May day and the dirt couldn't have been say...a little softer than rock hard.

What then transpired also belonged in a cartoon.  As I lay there trying to figure out where my arms and legs were, as I had somehow landed in a pretzel formation, I realized something.  He was back.  Oh cool, my ride was back and I wouldn't have to hoof it all the way back on foot.

Or not.  He was back already.  Back long enough to run me over and then run away again.  No lie, I still have an indentation on my calf where he hit me and then he took off.  

Fortunately, he did catch up to those Arabians in the other field and my friends realized that there was a horse without a rider and came back for me.  I got back on and we rode again, finishing up our jobs.  At the end of the ride, we stood talking with a neighbor who was lameting about her new horse: a half Arabian.  She eyed up our mounts, stating on how she would definitely prefer to ride the one I was on.  Hah.  Too bad I wasn't too witty at that moment.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I did have a fairy severe concussion that I paid for the next morning, along with realizing how classy my road rash and bruises were.  I also learned what one of the functions of the cerebellum is, as I apparently bruised it.  My lack of coordination was more than a little amusing.  But hey, I always got the questions regarding the cerebellum right in my later anatomy and physiology classes...

So there you go.  Once upon a time, I spotted a problem when my spots spotted another problem in the form of an innocent walkie talkie.

How's that for a tongue twister. 


  1. Replies
    1. Eh, it wasn't comfortable, but wasn't the worse fall, but I think it was just my 2nd fall. First one was also galloping bareback. May be a common theme. I think the time the horse ran into the tree was one of my least favorite falls.

  2. He came back to run you over? Holy crap!


Please leave a comment if you like. I love hearing from readers and would like to know that I am not always talking to myself. ;)