Thursday, October 6, 2016

Of Grief and Loss

When we think of those companions who traveled by our side down life's road, let us not say with sadness that they left us behind, but rather say with gentle gratitude that they once were with us.
Author Unknown

 This is easier said than done. 

I have been accused of being a "cold hearted bitch" with how I react to grief and loss.  That's not it at all.  If anyone has been involved with Myers-Briggs typing, I am an INTP--basically a major introvert with a thinking side. 

After another loss today of a mare I loved dearly, I am struggling on what to say to her owner. 

Is it fair when others grieve on the loss of a horse that isn't theirs? 

I find myself feeling guilty that she purchased the horse in the first place.  Maybe if I hadn't insisted that we should go into the fields, we wouldn't have saw her.  Maybe she wouldn't have come up to me, sighed, and put her sweet grey head on my shoulder. 

Maybe we wouldn't have fallen in love.

I found myself searching on how my personality type is supposed to handle grief.  This is a snippet of what I found:

INTPs often find themselves burying their sorrow, in an attempt to get over it. INTPs often do not process their grief at first and want to find ways of ignoring it. They may take quite some time before this pain resurfaces and they are forced to deal with it. INTPs may refuse to show emotion in front of others, making it look like they are perfectly fine. Eventually though the INTP does best if they are allowed to fully feel their grief. They often are not capable of handling this pain in the presence of others and do best processing it alone. Hearing other people express their own sadness to the INTP and listening to that person explain why they are hurting, may help the INTP to process it later on. When the INTP realizes that these emotions are perfectly normal and that it is necessary to accept this emotion to move on, they will be able to let go and fully grieve. Reading about the grieving process can be oddly comforting to the INTP, this way they can tie logical practices and reasoning to what they are feeling.

This seems so ironic.  Here I am trying to handle and process grief and am searching up how to deal with life.

But it seems to help and hopefully in doing so, I can be a better friend to her owner, who really is strong to do the right thing at the right time.

Symphony on the far right
Does anyone else grieve for pets that aren't theirs?  Or am I truly alone?  


  1. I'm sorry for your loss... and yes, it is your loss too. I'm an INFP. One time when I received the news that a special ed student of mine passed away, I grimaced in an effort to avoid crying in front of my coworkers. One major bitch misinterpreted my grimace as a smile and spread rumors around the school that I was happy that my student died, and I lost my job as a result. I've learned to express my feelings since then.


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