Reflection: Star

 There are always those weeks when you think about the past, about the what could have been, and how it relates to the now.

Star was my first Arabian mare.  It's such a romantic story that an individual and his or her first horse grow together and everyone learns and there's a happy ending.

There's not always a happy ending, but in this case, I am glad for my time with Star, however brief.

I learned how to handle a sensitive horse.  She was not what I would call a hot horse, but one that wanted to understand what was being asked before being forced.  Less was more. 

The more you fought, the more she fought. 

She came into my life at an ideal time.  I was angry.  I was sad.  I was upset and broken from severe depression in high school.  I'm sure this horse looked at me and saw an incredible conflict of confusing signals.

I, of course, was confusing at first to her.  I was used to almost pushing horses around.  I grew up working with often spoiled horses and was used to calling out bluffs, riding out nasty behaviors and then going on with life.  

Totally different situation here.

I learned.  She changed me.  I hope I changed her life too.

I miss her.  There are days that I wish I could just have her back. 

I love my girls now dearly, don't get me wrong, but Star was quirky, but quirky in many ways like mean I think.

So sometimes the heart hurts.  But I hope this is always for the best.  But thank you Star for all you had to offer.